Tha Sports Junkies 101

WrestleMania 33 live results and analysis

WrestleMania 33


Today is perhaps the biggest day on the pro wrestling calendar. In a few short hours, WrestleMania 33 will be airing live on the WWE Network.

But if you cannot watch the show live, have no fear, this is where I come in at. Throughout both the WrestleMania 33 preshow and the show itself; I will be updating you all with live results and analysis in real time.

If you need to know who walks out of Orlando tonight with the WWE Universal Championship; or who will come out on top as the former best friends Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho collide and cannot watch the event tonight. This is your destination.

Pre show Match no 1.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship match: Neville (C) vs Austin Aries

WrestleMania 33 got off to a fast start with the Cruiserweight Championship on the line with Austin Aries (the clearcut favorite by the fans in attendance) taking on the champion Neville.

In front of a shockingly full preshow crowd, the two cruiserweights lived up to the “most exciting hour of television” moniker that 205 Live has been given.

The two Cruiserweights went back and forth exchanging offense hitting a number of false finishes and transitions; perhaps highlighted by Aries hitting a 450 Splash followed by the Last Chancery that led to the finish. But it wasn’t in the way fans may have wanted.

Neville looked close to tapping out before digging his fingers into Aries’ eye; he then used that to capitalize with a Red Arrow for the three count. It was a fun opener to the preshow that saw the heel Neville retain his title.

Pre Show Match no. 2

Andre The Giants Memorial Battle Royal

As they cut back from a commercial (on a freaking Pay Per View no less) the contestants were on their way to the ring with The Big Show and Braun Strowman being highlighted.

NXT’s Killian Dane looking downright dominant. He lasted all the way to the very end of the match knocking out heavy hitters like Dolph Ziggler and Sami Zayn on his way to the final three with Mojo Rowley and Jinder Mahal.

Rawley and Mahal brawled to the outside, they just so happened to stumble outside near Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots.

Rawley and Gronkowski happen to be friends in real life; which was put over huge by the announcers as Mahal and Gronkowski had a brief face to face encounter that culminated with Mahal spitting water into Gronkowski’s face.

After this, as you may expect, hopped the barricade and wanted in the ring.

After being briefly restrained by security, he made his way into the ring. Much to the chagrin of the New England Patriots I’m sure. Gronkowski manages to help Rawley finish off Dane and Mahal and take home the victory.

I understand that it would be arguable that someone like Strowman would benefit from the win. I cannot say I disagree;  however, it felt like nothing more than a way to get Gronkowski on the pay per view. Which they succeeded in accomplishing.


Pre Show Match no. 3

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dean Ambrose (C) vs Baron Corbin

The WrestleMania preshow ended with Dean Ambrose and Baron Corbin going one on one for the Intercontental Championship.

The match itself was shortish, and I have a hard time wondering why this match wasn’t n the main show itself. For what its worth, both Corbin and Ambrose were among the highlights of Smackdown in recent months; and it would make sense for the to be rewarded with a moment on the main show.

Conventical wisdom says that this means the matches on the main show might get extended a little bit.

The two Smackdown stars waged war in a clunky brawl for about 10 minutes before it appeared as if the crowd began to lose interest.

However, for the match itself, Ambrose ended up coming out on top and retained his championship in a largely forgettable match, honestly.

Main Show Match no. 1

Shane McMahon vs AJ Styles

The main show stared off with one of the marquee matchups of the night; and they started things off with a bang.

The story being told throughout the match, was AJ wanted to embarrass Shane by outwrestling him, then when Shane held his own, they went to striking and Shane held his own there too. And no matter how much the announcers tried selling it to you; he never got the upper hand in the striking exchanges.

Ultimately, the match boiled down to AJ and Shane beating the crap out of each other which led to Shane doing what Shane does, jumping off of crap. And jump off things he did.

The finish of the match was triggered after Shane missed a shooting star press which gave AJ an to hit a Phenomenal Forearm for the victory, giving AJ the “WrestleMania moment” that JBL claimed.

Main Show Match no. 2

WWE United States Championship Match: Chris Jericho (C) vs Kevin Owens

In perhaps the match with the longest (and perhap best) build Chris Jericho put his United States Championship on the line; against his former best friend Kevin Owens.

The two former best friends (much to the chagrin of Corey Graves) went to war right away trading haymakers in the center of the ring. In an early match of the night candidate, Owens and Jericho pulled out all of the stops.

The two Canadian Superstars traded high spots and false finishes that included a number of different applications of The Walls of Jericho.

Perhaps the coolest, and albeit slightly predictable, spot might have been Jericho’s couner of Owens’ Pop Up Power Bomb into a Codebreaker. In what looked like a for sure finish; ended up just being yet another false finish; but it only  helped build up to the finish of the match.

The match ended following Owens hitting one of his trademark Powerbombs on the ring apron for the three count; and winning his first  United States Championship.

Main show match no. 3

WWE RAW Women’s Championship Fatal Four Way Elimination Match: Bayley (C) vs Sasha Banks vs Charlotte vs Nia Jax

The RAW Women’s division was on full display at WrestleMania as Bayley defended her RAW Women’s Championship against Charlotte, Sasha Banks, and Nia Jax.

This Fatal Four Way match was held with elimination rules. Which played quite the role in the early going. Much like at NXT Takeover: Orlando, the smaller combatants gained up on the larger Jax to get her eliminated early, and with a Shield-esque triple powerbomb and a three way fall, Jax was out of the match.

But before that, Charlotte gave the fans the “holy you-know-what” moment of the night thus far as she hit a beautiful corkscrew moonsault to the outside.

After she exited, Banks wasn’t far behind her; and I am not sure as of this writing but it appeared as if something went wrong with her elimination; because the announcers didn’t mention it much, if at all. The fans in attendance also didn’t seem to be big fans of it either.

It was down to Charlotte and Bayley for the championship. It appeared as if Charlotte was gaining the upper hand until a late Bayley flurry; culminated with a “Macho Man” Randy Savage like elbow drop off the top rope secured the win for the fan favorite.

The match itself seemed awkwardly paced. There were long instances of nothing much going on; and then there were other times where it felt like they tried to cram everything into small periods of time.

The match wasn’t bad per-se but I can only imagine what Charlotte and Bayley could have done in a one-on-one matchup.

Main Show Match no. 4

WWE RAW Tag Team Championship Ladder Match: Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows vs Enzo and Big Cass vs The Fellaship of the Swing vs The Hardy Boys

Initially, the match was slated to be a triple threat Ladder match before The New Day make their way to ringside to announce that a fourth team was entered into the match.

While it initially sounded like it was going to be The New Day. Until the Hardy Boys music and the crowd (and the writer in his living room) went absolutely bananas.

Met with chants of “DELETE,” Matt and Jeff made the spring to the ring and we were underway.

The four teams, as you might imagine; used just about every possible spot to gain an advantage. Just about every team appeared to be inches shy of claiming the belts at various times in the match. Only to see them intercepted by one of te other three teams.

And as you would imagine in a match involving the Hardy Boys and ladders, Jeff Hardy (or Brother Nero if you prefer) jumped off a ladder through a person. This time, Sheamus was on the receiving end of Jeff’s Swanton Bomb off the 20-foot ladder.

Shortly following this, Matt was able to claim the championships and the Hardy Boys became seven-time WWE Tag Team Champions.

Main Show Match n0. 5

Mixed tag team match: The Miz and Maryse vs John Cena and Nikki Bella

The match between the two “it couples” of the Blue Brand was put in the unfortunate spot of following the spotfest that was the four way ladder match. The match itself, was about what you would expect a match with two non- full time wrestlers and the Miz, who has never exactly been among the best bell to bell workers in the WWE.

Ultimately, the four talents all got their stuff in, and Cena and Bella got the win.

But that wasn’t the story of the match was what happened after.

After the match,  Cena grabbed the microphone and apprroached Bella in the center of the ring. And long story short, he asked her (using her real name no less) to marry him. Which was a cool, heart warming moment. Following the proposal, they exchanged hugs wth her family at ringside before making their way up the 80 yard ramp as the new future Mr & Mrs. John Cena.

Main Show Match no. 6

Non-sanctioned match: Triple H vs Seth Rollins

Naturally, following a cute moment between John Cena and Nikki Bella,  the WWE would follow it up with an absolute blood bath so to speak.

Okay, so it wasn’t literally a blood bath; but it was still pretty freaking brutal.

While this match wasn’t a scientific clinic, but given the build-up to the match, would you have expected it to be? Both Triple H and Seth Rollins went back and fourth throughout the match with the big storyline of the match being the overall health of Rollins’ recently repaired knee.

With every major move done by both Rollins and Triple H, it appeared as if there was some sort of emphasis on Rollins’ knee at every turn. Which helped build up a pretty cool story with teh Pedigree becoming such a major part of the story.

Along with the use of the Pedigree, there were a number of instances where The Cerebral Assassin part of Triple H started to shine through. There were a number of downright brutal shots of Triple H applying the reverse figure four and the bow and arrow; with a little added emphasis on Rollins’ surgically repaired knee.

In comes the toys

One of those submissions that took place outside the ring set up one of the major set pieces of the match. As Rollins is scrambling to get out of the hold he uncovers a sledgehammer under the ring, which as we all know; is among the staples of HHH’s career.

As you may imagine, this became a big part of the latter half of the match. As you may expect; both Rollins and Triple H took to using the sledgehammer to gain the advantage over their rival.

The culimation of the match, included; as you may have expected; Triple H’s wife Stephanie McMahon. She had made a few smaller impacts on the match, but this final one took the cake.

As she intended to get in Rollins’ way in order to give Triple H the opening he needed; Unfortunately for her; Rollins was able to side step HHH and he sent Stephanie; inadvertantly off the apron and through the table set up earlier in the match.

Triple H was clearly distraught and it gave Rollins the opportunity to nail him with a Pedigree for the three count.

While it may not have outdone the ladder match; but this was right up there with it for match of the night thus far. Right now there have been three truly great matches on the night; and there is still a chance for another.

Main show Match n0. 7

WWE Heavyweight Championship match: Bray Wyatt (C) vs Randy Orton

Up next was the match between the 2017 Royal Rumble winner Randy Orton faced off with his former umm master? Bray Wyatt.

The match was aided by some interesting theatrics by the way of shots of maggots and cockroaches in the ring via video screen.

No. I am not kidding. That about sums up this match. When I saw that start to happen, I lost all hope in the match. Which is unfortuante. The story going into this match was super compelling and interesting, but itrt just fell flat and it appeared as if the gimmick of the video screens had a negative effect on the match. For me at least.

While both Orton and Wyatt tried their best, it just felt as if nothing clicked in this match. It was largely forgettable. No matter how much the announcers tried building up Randy Orton’s 13th title win, it just felt, meh.

Main Show Match no. 8

WWE Universal Championship Match: Goldberg (C) vs Brock Lesnar

In what was being called the rubber match between Goldberg and Brock Lesnar, the match lasted longer than the previous matchup between the two.

So it had that going for it. The match itself was about what you would expect. So that means a ton of suplexes, a few spears, and an F5. But this time, it was Lesnar walking out on top.

In what was perhaps the coolest leap frog ever; Lesnar jumped over a charging Goldberg sending his head into the turnbuckle which gave Lesnar the opening he needed.

A few more suplexes and an F5 later, Lesnar is the new Universal Champion.

Main Show Match No. 9

WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship Six Pack Challenge: Alexa Bliss (C) vs Naomi vs Natalya vs Mickie James vs Carmella

In the Smackdown main event (technically) we saw the Smackdown Women’s Championship was on the line in a Six Pack Challenge.

This match was, well a cluster. It felt like it was just thrown together in an attempt to get as many of the Smackdown women on the show as possible. While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with that, it just felt like it was just thrown together. The match itself just felt like nothing more than filler.

Ultimately, Naomi walked out with the Championship, so there’s that. But the match itself was just… Sort of there.

Main Show Match No. 10

The Undertaker vs Roman Reigns

In the main event of the marathon night, Roman Reigns and The Undertaker squared off in a no disqualification matchup.

What is the right word to use to describe this match? Ahh, here is the word: depressing.

Now, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but it felt like The Undertaker just can’t go in the ring anymore. Granted, this is to no fault of his own. But I don’t know if it was him and Reigns not meshing well. Or if it was just age finally catching up to The Dead Man, but things just didn’t work out between them.

The match itself was basically consisted of Roman getting the proverbial torch passed to him by The Undertaker as the most dominant force in the WWE. Or at least that is what it felt like through the commentary. Now if that reaction made it through to the crowd remains to be seen.

The last half of the match was extremely hard to watch, especially as someone who has watched The Undertaker my entire wrestling fan life. He looked slow and quite frankly, like he couldn’t go anymore.

Now, if this is the end for The Undertaker, which judging by the postmatch festivities it sure feels like it might be.

Following Reigns’ postmatch pyro and “victory pose,” he left the ringside area, leaving The Undertaker to be given the last shot on camera- which is huge in the world of wrestling.

After gaining his balance and his bearings; The Undertaker, who was being serenaded by “Thank You Taker” chants by the fans in attendance, left his ring jacket and hat along with his gloves in the ring. Which could be read as The Undertaker’s last ride so to speak.

Wrestemania went off the air with The Undertaker standing atop the ramp with the Wrestlemania set in the background.